Short Rounds vol.19 - moofeets
The Kingdom
Only the most powerful, potent, original or refreshing of movies will stick with you after seeing them. The Kingdom is not one of those movies, as a mere two months later my memories are entirely hazy about the general progress of the story. Actually, for quite a while I kept forgetting that I'd actually seen this film (asking of my wife "what's that film we saw before The Assassination of Jesse James...?). That's not to say that it was a bad movie... when I search my brain superficially I recall enjoyment, a CSI in the UAE where the political climate impedes the CIA investigation into a terrorist bombing on an American base. But for all the great crime procedural elements, the "they're not so different from us" bonding moments between Arabs and Americans, the film tosses clues and such things completely out the window as it degrades into an action/rescue endeavor (that's still pretty damn intense but completely negates all that it's built to). It ultimately breaks it's commentary down into the circular (human) nature of violence (a potent message weakly made). The acting by Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman and others is solid throughout, the opening credits are fantastic (the film has gotten more blog notoriety for the credits than the actual movie) and director Peter Berg continues to prove that he's the thinking person's action filmmaker. Good, but forgettable. 3.5/5
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
There's a moment early on in The Longest Film Title of the Year where I absolutely fell in love with this movie. We've been introduced to Jesse James (Brad Pitt), his brother, and the rest of their outlaw gang, including the wide-eyed keener Robert Ford (Casey Affleck), and they're prepping for a train robbery. At dusk they load up the tracks with a pile of logs to halt the train, and they put on their masks and hide in the bushes as the dark consumes them. Jesse, holding a lantern, walks out onto the track, the dim glow lighting the closeup of his face. The camera pulls a tighter focus on the distance, the black void behind Jesse. We see nothing, and there's at first silence, barely a rustle of the wind through trees, and then a distinctive chug getting louder, a glimmer in the distance, growing larger, showing the outline of the trees on either sides of the track, the light growing brighter as the chugs get louder, the train broaches a corner and comes around, visible getting closer as the camera pulls back to reveal Jesse standing atop the logs with his lantern. It's such a visually awe-inspiring moment, it sucks you right into the movie. Ultimately what it's about is Jesse's descent into madness as he sees (perhaps rightly) conspiracies all around him (but also his status as a family man has focus), and Ford's initial adoration and idolization of the man making way into envy and resentment. Ford becomes the original psychotic fan, the likes of which wound up killing John Lennon and attacking David Letterman and Stephen King. It's a fascinatingly rich story, with a curious assortment of characters, and despite knowing the fates of the characters in advance, there's a mystery and mystique that director/writer Andrew Dominick (based of Ron Hansen's novel, this is only his second movie, the first being the Eric Bana launchpad Chopper) retains throughout, with it's bleak and grey vistas inspiring and chilling. Phenomenal. -5/5-.
Blades of Glory
Will Ferrell is a funny guy when Will Ferrell does his Will Ferrell thing. Here Will Ferrell gets to do the Will Ferrell thing and it's as entertaining as it is absurd. Jon Heder, on the other hand doesn't have a thing, but instead has Napoleon Dynamite looming over his head, and it really means the guy can't have a real career, ever. He's not that great of an actor and he's even less a comedian, definitely not able to keep up with the likes of Ferrell, Will Arnette, Amy Pohler, Rob Coddry, or, hell, even former pro Ice Skater Scott Hamilton. The bonus features, outtakes and other assorted sundries on the DVD serve to prove the point, and those bonus attributes are actually far more entertaining than this amusingly stupid and utterly disposable one-time-use comedy. -2/5-
The Right Stuff
This is one of those classic '80's movies that I've never watched before, but wow, it's the logical predecessor to HBO's From Earth To The Moon mini-series and Apollo 13, and I had no idea. It's fascinating to have these cinematic records of the U.S. space program, how it progressed, the challenges it faced, and the central figures and faces that made it happen. This features (as if you didn't know) the early flights where man breaks the sound barrier, the early tests jet planes and space capsules and the like, and the early voyages into the upper atmosphere (although I saw a documentary the other day on the man who went up into the upper atmosphere in a weather balloon to test the effects on humans and then parachuted down and there's no mention of that brave soul here), all up until the start of the Apollo program (which From Earth To The Moon takes care of). Most surprisingly is how the film, unlike most from the '80's still holds up terrifically. We now just need a film that captures the early days of the Russian space program... 4.5/5
Ham & Cheese
Before he went on to become a third-tier celebrity on the Daily Show and as Molson Canadian's current pitchman, Jason Jones was a nobody comedy troupe comedian in Toronto eking out a living with his wife, fellow Daily Show correspondent and comedienne Samatha Bee. I think integral to getting them out of the comedy gutter and into something that actually paid a decent wage was this mockumentary (ala Christopher Guest's Best In Show or Waiting For Guffman). Jones and co-star Mike Beaver wrote the script (which gives the appearance of improvisation by it's cast of Canadian comedy talent but is fully scripted) for the story which finds Jones' insurance salesman Barry Goodson tossing away his life with reckless abandon to pursue an acting career he's too oblivious to actually succeed in (the same kind of role Ben Stiller plays in half his movies). Beaver, meanwhile, is a small town migrant who come to Toronto to pursue his own acting career, but instead of being oblivious to criticism is actually too naive to understand any of it, and it's through dogged relentlessness that he sallies forth. It's not a great movie, but it's amusing enough for those that like the mocumentary style of filmmaking. It has no polish and is often too awkward for its own good, but the performances are sold by the leads. 2.5/5
Dodgeball
Much like Blades of Glory above, Dodgeball is about absurdity that mistakes itself for reality only to often be reminded cruelly how absurd it actually is. It's your typical down-on-their-luck schlubs versus the popular crowd/corporate tyrants, with obvious results. Vince Vaughn plays the Vince Vaughn character that Vince Vaughn plays when he doesn't really have to try: affable, somewhat charming, somewhat lewd, but ultimately a stand-up guy, who in this case owns a poorly managed gym. Ben Stiller plays the sub-intelligent, work-out obsessive, state-of-the-art gym owner across the street who wants to shut Vaughn down, evict his loser clientèle and build a parking lot. The two naturally compete over a woman, played by Stiller's wife, who obviously picks the good guy. Anyway, for Vaughn to keep his merry band of losers in a place to hang out, they decide to enter an ESPN 8 ("the Ocho!") sponsored Dodgeball tournament with a cash prize that would bail them out. It's all very predictable, with the usual assortment of irreverent, absurd and juvenile moments one comes to expect from these endeavours. It's funny at times, but it doesn't hold true enough to its irreverent conceit to really push it over the top where it needs to be. Compare with other faux sports comedies like Baseketball and Blades.... It's on that same amusing but, again, disposable level. -2/5-
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
I've never gotten into Westerns too much, especially the classic ones. I watched Leone's Once Upon A Time In Mexico not too long ago, but honestly remember very little of it (perhaps it was good, but I remember it plodded along over 3 hours, I forgot to write about it here)... perhaps it was the movie or that I just don't relate very well to westerns. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly is one of those movies people tell you that you must see, and I did. It was, let's say, a revelation... oh, not in that overwrought, hyperbolic way bad film reviewers mean to get their names in quotes on tv commercials, but rather "revelation" in the sense that I see where directors like Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie pulled some inspiration from (the sudden freeze frame and title card, or the focus on a wide shot which suddenly becomes a profile close-up). My first Eastwood western, and for the first 90 minutes, I saw the appeal, the draw of Blondie (The Man With No Name), Angel Eyes and Tuco but the hour where the focus seems to be more focussed on the Civil War and getting weirdly patriotic (with Tuco and Blondie entering the frey) than a cold-hearted outlaw western. The final showdown is a brilliant piece of filmmaking, much of the film is, but yeah, it's an epic sized movie that's not really epic enough to deserve the run time. -3.5/5-