Source (purchased/given/borrowed/the wife's): purchasedDate Acquired: February 21, 2007
Original Review: N/A
Thoughts/Memories/Remembrances: I don't remember how many times my friend Mark and I watched Steel Dawn in the mid-'80's, but it was a lot. Yet, for all the viewings, all I could remember of the film were the following: Patrick Swayze, a sword, a mullet, crimped blonde hair, a brief glimpse at boobies and lots of sand. A couple years ago Toast and I were having a discussion about his affinity for post-apocalyptic movies (including those with Kevin Costner) and this film came to mind. Of course, neither one of us could remember the title immediately, and not being near the internet at the time, over the course of the evening it became something notable. Once we discovered the title, it became a bit of an in-joke, but also an object of desire. I tried to track down a copy of the DVD for Toast's birthday, but it'd long been out of print, but did find a copy on videocassette. A few months later, I happened upon the DVD in a used book/video store and it was a no-brainer purchase. The film, for those that recall it, has a stigma. I think it's not the film but the stigma of Swayze that people only recall.
Re-Review: All you need to know is music by Brian May.
Okay, perhaps not.
The film opens with our hero, a mulleted, bearded, headbanded Swayze in the midst of the desert, standing on his head, as the sand around him stirs. Something from beneath emerges, is it a monster? Nope, it's a... stick? And another, and another... oh, a hand, oh, some strange rags and/or tendrils. A half dozen sand creatures attack our dirty dancer who, we can only surmise, was on his head waiting in some post-apocalyptic battle-stance for these creatures to attack (it's later revealed he was meditating). They wish to steal his stuff, but he and his unusual sword twirling slice them all to bits, and he's on his way.
He's a fighter, but his skills aren't very tight... a few minutes later the sage Asian guy who obviously is of some importance to him says so. The two old soldiers sit, have a drink, and Swayze learns of the jobs for "peacekeepers" in the barren wastes, when, suddenly, an attack. Of course that Asian guy bites it, and fast, while captain mullet is drugged and out of the action, but he makes note of his friends killers before they leave. Back on his feet, he's back out traversing the sand, where he befriends a dog (aww) and eventually arrives at a settlement, a small farm where a blonde woman with wildly crimped hair, her son, and three helping hands salvage water and grow crops.
He asks for work, she offers food and shelter in exchange, but her and her hands keep a skewed eye on the quiet nomad. One of the hands, Tark (Brion James) gives Roadhouse the pecking order of the farm, and, through squint eyes, leathered skin and slurred speech, intones his top-dog status. Soon the woman, Kasha (Lisa Neimi, who Swayze would make his wife some day), deduces that the stranger is an ex-soldier like her dead husband, and her son also takes a shining since he's the only man on the farm who can form an intelligible sentence as well as a Chippendales dance routine.
He earns Kasha's trust, which also means he gets her sweet lovin' on the desert sand out by the rocks, where no one taller than 2 1/2 feet tall can see them. She shows him the fresh water cavern that she's discovered, and obviously there's bad guys who want to take it away from her. So, there's conflict, blah blah blah, Tark dies, yadda yaddah, the kid gets kidnapped, etc. ect., Black Dog gets his revenge on and saves the farm, the family and the day. Then he leaves, cause, you know he never told her his name ("Nomad" is how he's actually listed in the credits).
Despite my ribbing of the film and it's awfully '80's aesthetic, it's surprisingly subdued and inoffensive for the era. There's nothing in-your-face about it, and yet it's not boring or even trite. It's simplistic, sure, but it's a quality b-movie. The performance by Swayze is a surprising and convincing one. He's not unstoppable, quite the contrary. He's stopped a lot, in fact. But he's a flawed hero, and there's always a little bit of doubt as to whether he really can triumph. He plays the character as someone lost, not stoic, and it helps the movie avoid the cheesiness I think most would associate it with. It's not a terrific movie, but it remains an enjoyable one.
Rating (keep, sell, undecided): undecided